I was searching through my online and offline storage and libraries for a decent picture of any past korban which took place in Cairo. I found none, but a picture of my just-slaughtered lamb back in 06.
Naturally, one of the places I go to for old pictures is surely my blog. So yeah, instead of finding what I was looking, I spent my morning reading my archives.
There were several entries in which I mentioned about individual relationship rule books. What are these books? Well, they don’t exist. I used to believe every relationship was unique, each should have its own rule book. All relationships should not refer to only one universal rule book.
Extract from my blog published on Nov 17, 2008 :
Radio’s discussing about “commitment phobia”. I’ve always believed every person has his own rule book when it comes to love and relationship. It doesn’t mean if one has a certain symptom that he is this or that - as written in the general love and relationship books.
Everyone to me is a special case, although sometimes I do stereotype and conclude people’s situations based on my personal experiences and others’. Wait. Isn’t that following the rule book? The worldwide book applies to everyone after all? Maybe I was just being in denial all this time because I often discover the outcome of my case study different than normal.
As I read back, I realise how one can be extremely delusional and in denial just to avoid the truth. I was so delusional, even I believed everything was okay with my relationship. As much as I tried to hide the truth, only I was fooled. Later, much later, I learnt that people around me didn’t believe my disguise for one bit.
Now, I see someone going through what I went through. I want so much to reach out to her and convince her to quit this misery. But she’s holding on so strong, like I did. And if she could come up with make-believe stuff like an individual rule book, she won’t be giving up any time soon.
Hope she’s strong - not strong enough to withhold her miserable relationship - but strong enough to walk out of it.